He Was…

He would come to the class wearing a formal shirt and shorts…

He would sleep in the lectures nonstop…

He would attempt the wrong exam, without even realizing…

He would smile and say, “Chill maar yaar, kuch nhi hota” if he saw anyone sad!

He would joke around just to see a smile on his friend’s face…

He would narrate his humorous stories to everyone with charm…

He would speak Hindi in his Malyalum accent…

He would make beautiful caricatures…

He would make the most uptight people, frank…

He would hug everyone and greet them in his trademark funny way…

He was the happy-go-lucky guy, everyone was fond of…

He was a friend of friend and would make enemies forget their anger…

It’s hard to use past tense for him. This post is for the friend of mine who passed away some time back.

I cannot forget that fateful morning. It came as the news which I never wanted to believe. I prayed again and again that he should be alive; I wish that terrible road accident never happened. But the reality struck its thorns and he was gone with the wind.

He was not such a close friend of mine, but a classmate whom I know, I would have turn to for any sort of help, support, fun…

With tears all his friends, faculty, and all the people who knew him, bid farewell to him. Another trend that was of relevance in all this moment of sadness was, the way people use social media for expressing their sorrow. It again bought tears into my eyes when I saw on my profile, people posting his pictures with them, putting up statuses for him! Thank fully a friend of his, deactivated his social media account, otherwise in the attempt to mark their grief, the tagging culture would have begun!

I did not want to publicize the fact that I miss him, on any such social media. I did not post any picture of him or any emotional status for him… It was just my feelings for life and the void that he has left, compelled me to write about him, on my blog.

Maybe it’s true that god needs good people around him, he took away the happy soul around me! I pray for his soul and wherever he is, he stays happy.

It was his sudden demise that I realized how short life is to be angry, sad, disappointed, depressed! What his always smiling face and attitude taught me is, do not be angry for soo long at people, spread happiness, be cheerful, let people remember you for positive things, forget sorrows, forgive people, help others, say sorry, appreciate people, love your life for what it is;  for life is a small journey!

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Says, Mitch Albom, in his book Tuesdays With Morrie. He is probably correct.

Dear, now who will call me “heroine”; get up, roll his hand on his stomach and say, “Bhuuk lagiii”; tell me his drunk stories; ask me about the new hottie in college; curse the stupid projects; ask me to take a chill pill; flirt around just like that; tell me that I need to date; make funny faces; teach me slangs; make fictitious plans…?? I will miss you!

I still wait for you, my tall man, to walk into the class with your persona and spread smiles! I am falling short of words to express what your loss means!

HE WAS…

But HE IS alive in the memories!

Why me?

A very warm greetings to the people living in the 21st century, located in India’s capital city, Delhi!

A city which has the VIPs, VVIPs and god knows how many Vs…???

A city of power, where so much security is provided to the “important” that the commons are forgotten!

A city where maybe thousands are employed to provide protection, but still a girl cannot go out of her house without fear!

Time: 6:00 pm
Location: Road just behind my house

My mom was cooking some delicacy and found some ingredients missing, she asked me to bring it from the nearby grocery store. Following her instructions, of course it’s just the evening time and I do not have to travel far, so it seems really simple.

I went out, just on the way back home, mind it it’s a busy road, just behind my house; I have walked that path zillion times!

Two guys on a motorcycle crossed me and threw something on my back, surprised, and a little shocked I looked up and abused them about driving in a proper way! Then my eyes fell on the thing that they threw on me, this bought me more into a state of embarrassment mixed with anger.

It was a packet of condoms!

That very moment I wanted to hold those rascals’ collar and give them a tight slap each, but the only problem- they were gone!

Since people can point out about me being dressed inappropriately, so to clear the doubt, I was wearing a plain kurta and salwar, covering me properly!

This is a very common culture in the life of a girl, incidents of eve teasing happen just every day, in places expected like buses, metro, road and even in the places unexpected!

Some report these and as a result they have to face a bigger amount of trouble in going in and out of the police stations at odd times!

A friend once reported a drunken guy passing lewd comments to her, to the police, our so-called “Women helpline”, to our surprise the attitude of the officers was somewhat like this while registering the complaint- “Madam ko cheed diya hai, gussa ho gai!” (Madam has been teased and she is angry).

Standing there in the police station with my friend, I sensed that an eve-teasing matter holds no relevance to them!
Since we had enough proof, so the police traced the vehicle, for which I appreciate their efforts. But then another issue in hand was the identity disclosure, when a guy can tease a girl in broad day light, he can also create troubles for her if he comes to know her whereabouts. Of course, the big chunks of male ego, “How could a girl complain about me?”

The only way to avoid the identity disclosure was to ask the accused for an apology, in written and we had to except it otherwise the case will go to court and which clearly means inviting trouble!

The only question in my mind while writing this is, why can’t I roam around freely wherever I want, at any time of the day?

What is my crime, that I have to go through such kind of harassment? A man can never understand that feeling of being touched forcefully without your consent, of hearing a lewd comment about yourself, that helplessness when someone is stalking you, that anger when you want to protest but you do not to avoid a bad scene!

Is it my fault being a girl?

Most girls do not even mention these incidents to their family because that will create a stress in the members. (Girls are already a burden in India!)

Why can’t our society grow up and in each case not put the blame of protection of the girl on the girl itself? We can teach our sons to respect women, to behave properly with girls.

Maybe then a girl in can go out of her house with this comfort that she will be safe till the time she is back in her house. Maybe then our society will be just, and safe for all!

Away from home…

My home has always been the place for me where I find myself again and again. It defines me, it determines how I am! A house becomes a home when you have your loved ones in it, they contribute towards a place called home.
There have been people around me who have been living away from their respective homes. I have been observing them for a while now.
I can get their emotions, their love, their longing, their subtle ways of staying connected. They have their reasons of not staying close to home, majorly study and job.
This is a small attempt to express how they might be feeling.

इस शेहर की हर गली, हर कोने में ढूँढती है निगाहे,
कही घर सा मंजर दिख जाए किसी बहाने|

आकर यहाँ थम गए है
काम में भी रम गए है
पाव भी कुछ जम गए है,
कामयाबी का नशा भी चढ़ रहा है
दूरियों का दर्द भी बढ़ रहा है,
नींद में भी याद आजाते है अक्सर,
माँ की गोद के सिरहाने

वो गालीया, वो चोबारे,
माँ की गोद के सिरहाने|

India v/s Bharat

“India is a great country. I am proud to be an Indian.”

These lines may convey strong patriotic feelings but ever thought why “Bharat” is not a great country and why we are not proud to be a “Bhartiya”?

Maybe the quest to do it in ‘western style’ had taken a big leap when our constitution was framed. The first sentence of our constitution says- “India that is Bharat”’ which clearly gives importance to the word India (given by the Britishers) rather that the word Bharat (this one is purely original).

Many people also have this misconception that our country did not have any particular name before the invaders arrived here. It is believed that the origin of the word Bharat dates back from the Vedic period, it is derived from the King Bharata from the Puru clan (the same from which originated the Pandavas). A proof of this can be seen in the sacred texts of the Vishnu Puran, Verse (2.3.1)-

“Uttaram yatsamudrasya himadresdrav dakshinam
Varsam tad bharatm nam bharti ytra santith”

This means- The country that lies north of the ocean and south of snowy mountains is called BHARATAM, there dwell the descendants of Bharata.

“Parathe swetha varaha kalpe vaivastha manvanthare
Ashta vimshathi tame kaliyuge
Prathane pathe jumbudwip Bhartha varshe
Bharatha khande meroho…”

This chant expands the meaning of Bharat as a subcontinent which comprises of today’s India, Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh and some parts of Afghanistan, the name suggests the diversity in cultures, languages, styles but yet one entity.

The justification of not using the word Bharat is given on the basis of its current geographical location, stressing upon the fact that Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nepal and Bangladesh are no more a part of India.

The origins of the word India is from Greek via Latin, literally meaning- region beyond the river Indus. Which is the last time I checked is currently Pakistan!

When the geographical correctness of the word India can be neglected, then why same can’t be done for the word Bharat? Even after knowing that the meaning of Bharat still describes our country’s diversity in culture. Or are we sticking to India just because it was given by Britishers?

I think it’s time we realize our individuality and dismiss the concept- “west is best”!

Things to do before 2012’s sun rises

There are always some things that one wishes to complete, but somehow that work just misses the deadline. And to tell you the truth, once that deadline is not met, that work just stays on its destiny to be completed!

So people, when the thought occurred to me that – “Oh Shit! The year’s ending!!”

I decided that before the sun of 2012 rises, I really need to finish certain works, or say just do what I wanted to do, for so long!

  • Check for pending work– Was there any task that was assigned, which could not be completed, just because of your lack of time or rather lack of interest. If yes, just for the sake of clearing the clutter, finish it off! Simply take it away from eyes. Make space for fresh assignment. Start with your professional work and move to personal work.
  • Tell the truth– Was there something which is now on your heart like a big weight, then please get rid of it! I know I might sound very impractical or more so philosophical. But really, some way or the other, truth always finds its way! It will hurt in the beginning, gradually everything will be fine. A lie can give you happiness, but it will not be forever! Truth can give you peace.
  • Forgive– Its OK to be angry, its human nature! But be sure that your anger does not start effecting your relations. Always remember, “forgiveness is not for others, but for your own self”.
  • Move on– William Shakespeare once said, “Remember the past, only if it gives you pleasure”. Holding on to the past is not a bad thing but at the same time you must not forget that you need to live in present and look to the future. Our present actions, determine our future.
  • Don’t make false promises– With the new year approaching, sometimes we overdo the new year resolutions! Please avoid that, rather stick to the practical part of it. Make new year resolutions, don’t make ways to torture yourself or make yourself feel guilty later (for not sticking, to your resolutions)!
  • Do what you wanted to do– I can understand that there was no time, to do a certain work, but why not  do it now! For eg- I have been avoiding a dentist trip for so long, and now I am going to make that happen! You wanted to go on a trip, plan that, make it happen. Life is too short to regret it! Live the moment!
  • Value your dear ones– you lost contact with your friends, try and contact them! Just remember the good times you spent with them. Value the people in your life. Because for some, you are the reason, they are happy! Make efforts to make them smile. Let them know, you love them!
  • Value yourself– Its high time, take some time out for yourself. Make a trip to the salon, pamper yourself! Do something for that lost inner peace. Stroke that ego of yours, its not bad occasionally ;).
  • Spread happiness– There are many reasons to be unhappy, but there are reasons in abundance to stay happy! It just requires a little effort to stay happy.
  • Be Positive– There is so much negativity around, search for the positive side! Every coin has two sides. Everything happens for good! Look out for the good things in life.

Life is too short live it! Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets.

May you have a wonderful New Year 2012.
Best Wishes from my side.

May you LIVE, all days of your life!

🙂

Manzilen

Sitarro tum to soo jao,
Yeh raat hum par bhari hai.

Kal ke intezaar mein,
Humari aankhen hee kafi hai.

Chaand ki bahoon mein baithe hue,
Nigahein subha hone par tikki hai.

Kal jo hona hai wo aapne aap mein hee kafi hai,
Bas itna kahungi ki
Manzilen abhi aur bhi baki hai.

Searching for the right path

The Apology

I was checking my mails when suddenly something shook me. I could not believe my eyes about what I saw. I received the most unexpected E-mail of my life. The sender’s name made me nostalgic.

Some years back, I got badly ditched by a friend. Whom I considered very close, and thought I knew well. The incident made me hard to trust anyone. Due to that friend, the word ‘friend’ lost its meaning in my life. It took me time to get that trust in friendship restored, thanks to some friends who really stood by me. Gradually I understood that it was just another hurdle of life and got over it. But this event did teach me a lesson.

When you realize your mistake, only then you can understand what ordeals the other person went through. Trust me one starts feeling guilty and feels ashamed, as one realizes what he/she did! I know it’s very hard to apologies. We are humans; we tend to bring our big chunks of egos in between! But when that realization gets so huge and unbearable, one decides to face it. It takes courage to apologize and even more strength to forgive!

Sorry

Apology

When I received that apology, at first it shook me, and then it made me angry, I was not understanding whether I should believe it or not!  That E-mail pained me and after few days, I went through it again.

I replied back and the moment I wrote “Apologies accepted”, a kind of warmth went through me. I felt light, my anger was gone and I found myself smiling.

Remember, we all stumble; apologizing does not make you small. Also, forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Some apologies really do matter.

Now if you excuse me, I got some apology(s) to do!