10 Things not to say/do when visiting someone in the hospital

Hospitals are not such a good place to be in, and recently I had to bear a week in a hospital due to Typhoid. Obviously people who love you and care for you, get worried; but there are some things which you should never say to a sick person in a hospital. Here is a list-

Dear Lord, Save Me!

1. What have you done? (Yeh kya kar liya?)

Guys please; no one wants to be sick. When someone says this, you really want to reply,”Yeah I saw a bottle with a note: ‘This will make you sick’ and I drank all the contents of it deliberately”

2. What are the doctors saying?

The people, who visit, want to know all about the medical procedure step by step. Dear People, lying at that bed in the hospital is horrifying in itself; the patient gets even more scared when he/she has to repeat the ordeal all over again. Yes you can inquire about the progress but in a subtle way.

3. How did this happen?

Yes, one of the things that suck big time is when you have to repeat about your sickness/mishap again and again.

4. How are you feeling? (kaisi tabiyat hai?)

I do not know anyone who has replied in an honest and negative way to this question, despite feeling treble. You only say “fine” or “better” to this. This is a staple question even in a normal question. Try to be considerate.

5. Let me know if you need anything.

Yes, this is a standard phrase used by people. I am not saying that people lie about lending a helping hand; but if you really want to help anyone, don’t just say it, do something. You can- Offer your time as attendant so that the family/friends can have some relief; bring coffee/tea/snacks; get medicines; offer a ride to back home to attendant; get blankets/food for attendant; bring books to read; music to listen etc.

6. You must be getting bored here.

No, not at all! Don’t you know the hospital holds an entertainment program every hour? Yes the patient does feel bored at times. You may like to help in ending that boredom. You can bring books to read; music to listen; games to play; try to lighten up the mood of a patient etc.

7. I don’t know what to say!

Alright not all people get it what to say when visiting a patient in the hospital. To be honest, even the patient doesn’t know how to react to the people visiting him/her. But don’t be too direct! Please try to be a little positive in your conversations; it brings hope to the patient.

8. Sleep now, take proper rest, and do not roam here and there!

Yes the sleep. Sleeping in the hospital environment is not that easy as it seems. The doctors and nurses keep on visiting you for rounds; sometimes you are in pain; some patients are on strict bed rest; restricted sleep posture (the Intra-veins causes swelling) and hell lot of other reasons. Even if you want, you cannot roam. So when the people say this, it is actually like rubbing chilies on your wounds!

9. Seeing your long lost friends/relatives after a decade, whoop right next to you in the hospital.

The fake sympathizers, and the people who enjoy seeing you suffer, Uff! These people should be shooed away immediately. I suggest the hospitals to develop an emergency button for this purpose as well! It gets even worse, when they actually wake you up to “see you”! urgh :X And they say, “I heard about you and came running to see you” as if I got admitted into the hospital only to see you running!

10. Cry and be emotional! (Hayee, mera baccha!)

The last thing any patient wants to deal with is the crying! I am not saying that it’s wrong to be worried about the patient, but don’t cry! Trust me on this, it’s hard to be there in that situation, the patient itself is scared and feels low, your crying just demoralizes the patient.

 

Irritated, but just can not do anything!

When visiting someone in the hospital, try to limit your queries, and try to be hopeful and positive. Understand that it is difficult to be there in that situation, do not increase their worries to attend you, and instead do something to ease their burden.

Leave a comment if you feel some other pet dialog(s), I left in this list.

Unusual yet Inspiring auto ride!

It was a usual day, one of my daily struggles to hire an auto rickshaw to reach my college, which is by the way a big hassle in a place like Delhi. But today was different, after getting frustrated with auto drivers charging almost double the price, I found myself lucky to find an auto driver ready to go by the meter!

The driver was somewhere in his late 40’s and wore the uniform (which was again a surprise!), as the journey began we (driver and me with two other friends) started interacting.
He started off by saying, “Khoob maan laga kar padhna madam ji agar fail bhi ho jao to ghabrana mat, khush hona” (Study hard, ma’am, even if you fail, don’t worry)
By now I have gone used to advices but it was the first time someone was telling me not to worry, even if I fail! This made me curious to know, what makes him say that.

He clarifies his point further, “Main 8 rickshaw chalata hun, ijjat ki khata hun aur aapne sapne bhi pura karta hun, aur ye sab iss liye ho paya kyuki main 8th class mein fail ho gaya tha…” (I run 8 rickshaws, earn my money with dignity, fulfill my dreams, and all this is possible only because I got fail in class 8th).

According to him, when a person fails, he comes up with excellent ways to cover that flaw into him/her. With a proud smile he told us that he dreamt of marrying his daughter to a high profile officer, and did so! Enthusiastically he revealed, “laal batti wali gaddi mere ghar tak aati hai” Government distinguished cars stops at my home now (‘laal batti ki gaddi’, which is a huge craze among Indians :P) He credits it all to his failures.

Addressing us as ‘beti’ (daughter) he hesitatingly suggested, “work for 10 years and keep a business plan in mind, implement it, and see the wonder”, by now I had started liking this man’s practical sense.

 

 

 

 

It’s very true and rational to say that money is all that is required to prosper in this world. Oscar Wilde once said, When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is…

We were stuck in an irritating traffic jam (very common in Delhi 😐 ) when he said the most important 3 pointers for life. He said, “In life all that matters is a passion, always have passion for 3 things in life.

  • Fine clothes- first impression is the last!
  • Quality food- shows that you belong to a well to do family.
  • Money- because the world runs with it!

(I was happy to listen these three points, mostly because I figured two items from this list is a tick mark in my case! ;))

Just when we were about to reach the destination, he disclosed something far more interesting than any of it above. He said that he is desperately waiting for his only son to get failed!
I was left in a state of shock, because never in my life I had seen any parent wanting their child to get failed in academics! (It is a grand affair in India, where education is so stressed upon)
He dreams of making his son a millionaire! And truly I prayed for his dream to come true.

Just as I paid him the fare, he left us with blessings and last thought from his heart. “Never cheat in life, be true to yourself and the world”.

Had I been impatient I would have not tried to listen to the driver, I never do! But there was something amazing about this person that made me sit through and give it a thought.

Later into the boring lecture I pondered upon the morning ride, and I smiled at the mere irony. There have been people close to me, saying all this, but I guess there is always a right time for everything.

I don’t know that person’s name, but from the bottom of my heart I would like to thank him, and also wish him good luck!

One thing that I learnt from this is that — You find hope in the most hopeless places.

(The next time when you, hire an auto, just hope for the hopeful! :D)

Lyrics mein twist

Gone are the days when the references in the songs were moon, sun, silk, flowers etc etc, natural things.

Refer to these-

Chudhvi ka chaand ho… (Listen full)

Chand mera dil, chandani ho tum… (Listen full)

Suraj hua madham… (Listen full)

There used to be a beautiful rhythm in these, but times have definitely changed.

With the latest emerging trends, the newest symbols are- Sheila and Munni.

Salman Khan’s latest flick ‘Ready’ saw the use of these “new symbols” in his song- Character dheela.

“…Fark padta hai kya baahon mein
Munni hai ya sheela hai
Ishak ke namm pe karte
sabhi ab raas leela hai…”

Also the upcoming movie- ‘Bin Bulaye Baraati’, will see Mallika Sherawat shaking a leg on a song, claiming her being better than our beloved ‘Sheila ‘ and ‘Munni’!

“…Munni bhi mani aur Sheela bhi maani
Shalu ke thumke ki duniya deewani…”

If this trend continues to be prevailing, your ears might have to bear torture like this-

Sheila ki jawani ki kasam, mein tujhse pyar karta hun,

Munni ki badnaami ki kasam, mein tumpe maarta hun… (This one sounds really bad right? Guess what, I know! ;))

Women Intuition kills

Nidhi’s friends are suspecting something unusual about her behavior, though she greeted everyone in the group in the same usual manner!

After a few, “no I am fine” and “It’s nothing”, finally she spilled the beans. Now she is in tears, “I don’t feel that it’s going to work between me and Raj. Suddenly I don’t get the right ‘vibes’. I love him, but don’t know what to do…”

This is a conversation of a regular girl gang. (I can also be killed by my friend for publishing this!)

At this point I realized the importance of these ‘gut feelings’ in a women’s life. Believe me 80% of the times when men say, “I don’t understand her point”, “I don’t know why she is doing it” etc. Men, you can blame it to ‘women intuition’!

Women in thought(s)

Women are equipped with far more finely tuned sensory skills than men. What is commonly called ‘women intuition’ is mostly a women’s acute ability to notice small details and changes in the appearance or behavior of the others. This is one of the reasons why women can read between the lines of what people say.

Women have superior sensitivity in differentiating tone changes in voice volume and pitch. This enables them to hear emotional changes in children and adults. Maybe this explains the most commonly heard statements of women, while arguing with men, “Don’t use that tone with me” or “lower down your tone”.

For centuries women were burned at the stake for possessing ‘super natural powers’! These included the ability to predict outcomes of relationships, spot liars, talk to animals and uncover the truth.

This gut feeling at times gets so overpowering that women are bound to ride the way, their intuition takes them. Its “killing” sometimes when inside you keep getting this that  any particular thing is not going to last long, and practically you cannot find any valid reason!

But surprisingly the intuition is proven right!

So all the women out there learn to listen and follow your intuition and men you must learn ways to use your lady’s ‘special powers’!

You might also like to read where I took out these inferences:

  • Kentucky New Era: Read;
  • Daily Times: Read;
  • Times of India: Read

What a stupid person I am?

What a fool I am?

Sometimes I act so stupid, that afterward I feel like redoing it, all over again…

I guess the same must have happen with you as well, at some point of life!

The Repenting Afterwards

After a particular incident, when you think about it. Various actions cross your mind and you say, “I should have said that or done that… “And so on our mind produces many post action thoughts.

You regret it even more if that particular situation cannot be repeated again.

You feel sad, angry over what you said and curse yourself for not handling the situation well.

It’s true that, ‘that’ particular time will not come back. But what positive you can think about it is that you learn a lesson.

As the famous quote goes, “History repeats itself“, and who knows you are in the same situation again. Put those ‘post action thoughts’ at use during that time. After all, practice makes one perfect. And doing dumb things has never caused any harm.

Life is the process of moving on and constant change.

In the end I would say, “I am proud to be myself, and everybody should be. No matter how dumb one behaves at times”

The Big Fat Confused Indian Wedding

It is a known fact that Indian weddings are the most elaborate ones. They are “Big”, they are “Fat” and they are “Confused”.

This is what Wikipedia has to say about Indian weddings-

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration that continue for several days. They are generally not small affairs, with anywhere between 100 to 10,000 people attending. Often times it is possible that many of the attendees are unknown to the bride and groom themselves. Though most Indian marriages are arranged, some couples in urban areas have what are known as “love marriages”, where the partners decide to marry each other without family involvement or assistance. The traditional Indian wedding is more about two families being brought together socially, with much less emphasis on the individuals involved.

The best thing about Indian weddings is that, no one exactly knows what rituals are to be taken place.

Picture this- four to five elderly ladies fighting over the sequence of the ritual. Where at the same time the groom or the bride to be is sitting half naked, covered in turmeric paste.

The ladies can be heard saying- “humare yahan to aisa hota hai” (in our tradition, the ritual takes place in this manner) or something like- “apshagun hoga” (if this happens, bad luck will follow).

The groom/ bride’s mother gets worried if someone points out, “you didn’t do ‘that’ work”. Now this ‘that’ can be anything ranging from any particular ritual or ceremony. Scared of bad luck, the groom’s mother does as the person says! The family takes all this pain to ensure the children stay happy and blessed in their married lives.

Alas! Today we are blindly following these traditions, without even understanding its relevance.

If Cinderella was Indian…

Everyone knows the fairy tale about Cinderella. Her rags to riches story raised a question in mind, “What would have happened, if Cinderella was an Indian?”

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After long hours of trying to find a suitable answer, I will stick to this one-

She would have gone back to get her shoe saying, “Ye joota mera hai!”

(This shoe is mine)

Well I wrote what came to my mind; you can run your imagination and come up with more interesting answers.