10 Things not to say/do when visiting someone in the hospital

Hospitals are not such a good place to be in, and recently I had to bear a week in a hospital due to Typhoid. Obviously people who love you and care for you, get worried; but there are some things which you should never say to a sick person in a hospital. Here is a list-

Dear Lord, Save Me!

1. What have you done? (Yeh kya kar liya?)

Guys please; no one wants to be sick. When someone says this, you really want to reply,”Yeah I saw a bottle with a note: ‘This will make you sick’ and I drank all the contents of it deliberately”

2. What are the doctors saying?

The people, who visit, want to know all about the medical procedure step by step. Dear People, lying at that bed in the hospital is horrifying in itself; the patient gets even more scared when he/she has to repeat the ordeal all over again. Yes you can inquire about the progress but in a subtle way.

3. How did this happen?

Yes, one of the things that suck big time is when you have to repeat about your sickness/mishap again and again.

4. How are you feeling? (kaisi tabiyat hai?)

I do not know anyone who has replied in an honest and negative way to this question, despite feeling treble. You only say “fine” or “better” to this. This is a staple question even in a normal question. Try to be considerate.

5. Let me know if you need anything.

Yes, this is a standard phrase used by people. I am not saying that people lie about lending a helping hand; but if you really want to help anyone, don’t just say it, do something. You can- Offer your time as attendant so that the family/friends can have some relief; bring coffee/tea/snacks; get medicines; offer a ride to back home to attendant; get blankets/food for attendant; bring books to read; music to listen etc.

6. You must be getting bored here.

No, not at all! Don’t you know the hospital holds an entertainment program every hour? Yes the patient does feel bored at times. You may like to help in ending that boredom. You can bring books to read; music to listen; games to play; try to lighten up the mood of a patient etc.

7. I don’t know what to say!

Alright not all people get it what to say when visiting a patient in the hospital. To be honest, even the patient doesn’t know how to react to the people visiting him/her. But don’t be too direct! Please try to be a little positive in your conversations; it brings hope to the patient.

8. Sleep now, take proper rest, and do not roam here and there!

Yes the sleep. Sleeping in the hospital environment is not that easy as it seems. The doctors and nurses keep on visiting you for rounds; sometimes you are in pain; some patients are on strict bed rest; restricted sleep posture (the Intra-veins causes swelling) and hell lot of other reasons. Even if you want, you cannot roam. So when the people say this, it is actually like rubbing chilies on your wounds!

9. Seeing your long lost friends/relatives after a decade, whoop right next to you in the hospital.

The fake sympathizers, and the people who enjoy seeing you suffer, Uff! These people should be shooed away immediately. I suggest the hospitals to develop an emergency button for this purpose as well! It gets even worse, when they actually wake you up to “see you”! urgh :X And they say, “I heard about you and came running to see you” as if I got admitted into the hospital only to see you running!

10. Cry and be emotional! (Hayee, mera baccha!)

The last thing any patient wants to deal with is the crying! I am not saying that it’s wrong to be worried about the patient, but don’t cry! Trust me on this, it’s hard to be there in that situation, the patient itself is scared and feels low, your crying just demoralizes the patient.

 

Irritated, but just can not do anything!

When visiting someone in the hospital, try to limit your queries, and try to be hopeful and positive. Understand that it is difficult to be there in that situation, do not increase their worries to attend you, and instead do something to ease their burden.

Leave a comment if you feel some other pet dialog(s), I left in this list.

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Daddy’s girl

I belong to a middle class family. My mother looks after us (me and my elder brother) and the house, while my father works hard to provide us a comfortable life and fulfill all our needs and desires. He does so because of his unconditional love for us and he wants us to be happy.

My father got occupied with his work and we both drew more close to mom. She gradually got promoted from my mother to my buddy mom (read it friend). I grew up with her, she nourished and developed me. My father had minimum participation during this process. My dad always loved us but he didn’t know the art of expressing, something in which my mom is an expert. Mom made efforts to make us understand that dad loves us. I knew that he loves me but could not feel it.

I and my father always had differences. Right from the radio station I listen to the dress I wore. He could never understand some of my ways and I could never understand his. This was the place where mom always striked a balance, sometimes supported me and sometimes made me understand.

The turning point came when my elder brother went abroad for further studies. Maybe this separation from one part of the family made him realize how important it is to express love to the loved ones. I could feel more warmth in his hugs and ‘I love you’s’ had more emotion than the usual ones.

I really thank this incident, because it made me realize and understand how much my dad loves me. I can recall his worry when I was ill, his cheer when I performed, his help in solving my mathematics problem, his encouragement to make a round chapatti 😉 :P, his support in my decisions. All this is his love. He has a subtle way of expressing his love. He never imposed himself on me. He gave me freedom and made me understand its meaning.

I always thought I am a mamma’s girl and very similar to her, but I have inherited many characteristics from my dad. The sense of humor, level of patience, laziness and the list is endless.

I never realized this but I am daddy’s girl also. Now I know this and can feel it too.

Why Generation Gap?

Usual tiff between the parents and children are generally blamed on the presence of generation gap.

Generation gap as Wikipedia says,” refers to differences between people of a younger generation and their elders, especially between a child and their parent‘s generation.”

But I wondered on the question – “why a generation gap?”

Here is what I observed.

Younger people are more enthusiastic and hot-blooded, older generation on the other hand is well experienced. The older generations loves the younger ones and tend to stop from the mistakes that maybe they had made once. This is however not very much appreciated by the younger people!

Every generation of parent thinks, “I will not let ‘that’ thing happen with my child.” Think about it, you also might have thought about it at some point of life.

But infact this ‘that’ is just the things which the newly parent was not exposed to or was not permitted.

The thing that we forget here is that with every generation, the level of advancement doubles itself.

For example, while my mother was not allowed to cut her hairs short or attend some dance classes, I had easy access to these ‘facilities’ which became common by the time I was born!

Today’s parent cannot understand that why the guys on their teenage daughter’s Facebook profile, who commented like- hot, looking sexy, dear etc are just normal friends and there is no romance booming up!

These word have become very common today due to gradual use by their parents itself (at their young age)!

Anytime a generation gap can be reduced with little efforts by both sides. Communication and small adjustments can any day contribute to peace between families!

But as the generation changes a gap will always remain!