10 Things not to say/do when visiting someone in the hospital

Hospitals are not such a good place to be in, and recently I had to bear a week in a hospital due to Typhoid. Obviously people who love you and care for you, get worried; but there are some things which you should never say to a sick person in a hospital. Here is a list-

Dear Lord, Save Me!

1. What have you done? (Yeh kya kar liya?)

Guys please; no one wants to be sick. When someone says this, you really want to reply,”Yeah I saw a bottle with a note: ‘This will make you sick’ and I drank all the contents of it deliberately”

2. What are the doctors saying?

The people, who visit, want to know all about the medical procedure step by step. Dear People, lying at that bed in the hospital is horrifying in itself; the patient gets even more scared when he/she has to repeat the ordeal all over again. Yes you can inquire about the progress but in a subtle way.

3. How did this happen?

Yes, one of the things that suck big time is when you have to repeat about your sickness/mishap again and again.

4. How are you feeling? (kaisi tabiyat hai?)

I do not know anyone who has replied in an honest and negative way to this question, despite feeling treble. You only say “fine” or “better” to this. This is a staple question even in a normal question. Try to be considerate.

5. Let me know if you need anything.

Yes, this is a standard phrase used by people. I am not saying that people lie about lending a helping hand; but if you really want to help anyone, don’t just say it, do something. You can- Offer your time as attendant so that the family/friends can have some relief; bring coffee/tea/snacks; get medicines; offer a ride to back home to attendant; get blankets/food for attendant; bring books to read; music to listen etc.

6. You must be getting bored here.

No, not at all! Don’t you know the hospital holds an entertainment program every hour? Yes the patient does feel bored at times. You may like to help in ending that boredom. You can bring books to read; music to listen; games to play; try to lighten up the mood of a patient etc.

7. I don’t know what to say!

Alright not all people get it what to say when visiting a patient in the hospital. To be honest, even the patient doesn’t know how to react to the people visiting him/her. But don’t be too direct! Please try to be a little positive in your conversations; it brings hope to the patient.

8. Sleep now, take proper rest, and do not roam here and there!

Yes the sleep. Sleeping in the hospital environment is not that easy as it seems. The doctors and nurses keep on visiting you for rounds; sometimes you are in pain; some patients are on strict bed rest; restricted sleep posture (the Intra-veins causes swelling) and hell lot of other reasons. Even if you want, you cannot roam. So when the people say this, it is actually like rubbing chilies on your wounds!

9. Seeing your long lost friends/relatives after a decade, whoop right next to you in the hospital.

The fake sympathizers, and the people who enjoy seeing you suffer, Uff! These people should be shooed away immediately. I suggest the hospitals to develop an emergency button for this purpose as well! It gets even worse, when they actually wake you up to “see you”! urgh :X And they say, “I heard about you and came running to see you” as if I got admitted into the hospital only to see you running!

10. Cry and be emotional! (Hayee, mera baccha!)

The last thing any patient wants to deal with is the crying! I am not saying that it’s wrong to be worried about the patient, but don’t cry! Trust me on this, it’s hard to be there in that situation, the patient itself is scared and feels low, your crying just demoralizes the patient.

 

Irritated, but just can not do anything!

When visiting someone in the hospital, try to limit your queries, and try to be hopeful and positive. Understand that it is difficult to be there in that situation, do not increase their worries to attend you, and instead do something to ease their burden.

Leave a comment if you feel some other pet dialog(s), I left in this list.

Winter

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Foggy winter morning

As the sun shines bright and mighty,
Signalling the winters are over, I see
Tiny flowers blooming,
I feel the green leaves,
thier tenderness, gives me
a thought

The prolonged winter is ending in my heart too!

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Fresh green leaves

Daddy’s girl

I belong to a middle class family. My mother looks after us (me and my elder brother) and the house, while my father works hard to provide us a comfortable life and fulfill all our needs and desires. He does so because of his unconditional love for us and he wants us to be happy.

My father got occupied with his work and we both drew more close to mom. She gradually got promoted from my mother to my buddy mom (read it friend). I grew up with her, she nourished and developed me. My father had minimum participation during this process. My dad always loved us but he didn’t know the art of expressing, something in which my mom is an expert. Mom made efforts to make us understand that dad loves us. I knew that he loves me but could not feel it.

I and my father always had differences. Right from the radio station I listen to the dress I wore. He could never understand some of my ways and I could never understand his. This was the place where mom always striked a balance, sometimes supported me and sometimes made me understand.

The turning point came when my elder brother went abroad for further studies. Maybe this separation from one part of the family made him realize how important it is to express love to the loved ones. I could feel more warmth in his hugs and ‘I love you’s’ had more emotion than the usual ones.

I really thank this incident, because it made me realize and understand how much my dad loves me. I can recall his worry when I was ill, his cheer when I performed, his help in solving my mathematics problem, his encouragement to make a round chapatti 😉 :P, his support in my decisions. All this is his love. He has a subtle way of expressing his love. He never imposed himself on me. He gave me freedom and made me understand its meaning.

I always thought I am a mamma’s girl and very similar to her, but I have inherited many characteristics from my dad. The sense of humor, level of patience, laziness and the list is endless.

I never realized this but I am daddy’s girl also. Now I know this and can feel it too.

Why me?

A very warm greetings to the people living in the 21st century, located in India’s capital city, Delhi!

A city which has the VIPs, VVIPs and god knows how many Vs…???

A city of power, where so much security is provided to the “important” that the commons are forgotten!

A city where maybe thousands are employed to provide protection, but still a girl cannot go out of her house without fear!

Time: 6:00 pm
Location: Road just behind my house

My mom was cooking some delicacy and found some ingredients missing, she asked me to bring it from the nearby grocery store. Following her instructions, of course it’s just the evening time and I do not have to travel far, so it seems really simple.

I went out, just on the way back home, mind it it’s a busy road, just behind my house; I have walked that path zillion times!

Two guys on a motorcycle crossed me and threw something on my back, surprised, and a little shocked I looked up and abused them about driving in a proper way! Then my eyes fell on the thing that they threw on me, this bought me more into a state of embarrassment mixed with anger.

It was a packet of condoms!

That very moment I wanted to hold those rascals’ collar and give them a tight slap each, but the only problem- they were gone!

Since people can point out about me being dressed inappropriately, so to clear the doubt, I was wearing a plain kurta and salwar, covering me properly!

This is a very common culture in the life of a girl, incidents of eve teasing happen just every day, in places expected like buses, metro, road and even in the places unexpected!

Some report these and as a result they have to face a bigger amount of trouble in going in and out of the police stations at odd times!

A friend once reported a drunken guy passing lewd comments to her, to the police, our so-called “Women helpline”, to our surprise the attitude of the officers was somewhat like this while registering the complaint- “Madam ko cheed diya hai, gussa ho gai!” (Madam has been teased and she is angry).

Standing there in the police station with my friend, I sensed that an eve-teasing matter holds no relevance to them!
Since we had enough proof, so the police traced the vehicle, for which I appreciate their efforts. But then another issue in hand was the identity disclosure, when a guy can tease a girl in broad day light, he can also create troubles for her if he comes to know her whereabouts. Of course, the big chunks of male ego, “How could a girl complain about me?”

The only way to avoid the identity disclosure was to ask the accused for an apology, in written and we had to except it otherwise the case will go to court and which clearly means inviting trouble!

The only question in my mind while writing this is, why can’t I roam around freely wherever I want, at any time of the day?

What is my crime, that I have to go through such kind of harassment? A man can never understand that feeling of being touched forcefully without your consent, of hearing a lewd comment about yourself, that helplessness when someone is stalking you, that anger when you want to protest but you do not to avoid a bad scene!

Is it my fault being a girl?

Most girls do not even mention these incidents to their family because that will create a stress in the members. (Girls are already a burden in India!)

Why can’t our society grow up and in each case not put the blame of protection of the girl on the girl itself? We can teach our sons to respect women, to behave properly with girls.

Maybe then a girl in can go out of her house with this comfort that she will be safe till the time she is back in her house. Maybe then our society will be just, and safe for all!

Need for communication for communicable diseases

Present situation about various communicable diseases

India needs to work a lot on its health sector. For example in case of HIV/ AIDS, as per HIV estimates 2008-09, there are an estimated 23.9 lakh people living with HIV/AIDS in India with an adult prevalence of 0.31 percent in 2009.

Acc to International Health Regulation, the past few decades have seen the re-emergence of cholera and plague in India.

In 2009 there were reported 0.10 malaria deaths, per 1, 00,000 populations.

This shows the condition of health of Indian people. There are other diseases also which are to be dealt with also. India is going through a period of transition, both epidemiological and demographic transition. Infectious diseases are still persisting as major health problems in spite of having national programmes for the control of most of these diseases for almost half a century now. There are re-emerging infectious diseases which are adding to the burden of diseases. In addition, there is an increasing prevalence of non- communicable diseases as a result of lifestyle changes and urbanization.

Sir Douglas Black said, “Main determinants of health and disease lie outside the realm of direct medical competency”.

Scenario at the time of independence

Before independence, medical and health services in the country were basically managed by the British officers. After independence, in 1947, the entire responsibility fell on the shoulder of Indian medical and health personnel. During British rule, curative and preventive services ran separately. Due to resource and personnel constraints, preventive services were at disadvantage. With the growing influence of specializations in clinical subjects, manpower development for preventive medicine was hampered.

Communication policies in 21st century

Even after 65 years of independence and various acts, laws, policies and regulations, other country still faces the problem of improper health care facilities. Though considerable achievements have been made, the goal of “Health for All by the Year 2000” has yet to be met even though we have crossed the year 2003. Lack of basic health services for the majority of the population, environmental degradation, a total collapse of the health care machinery during any epidemic crisis, and a population, which has already crossed the one billion mark, are all challenges the country is facing after 64 years of planned development. The last two decades have witnessed a gradual but sure decay in the health services of the country. Diseases claimed to be under control like malaria, poliomyelitis, dengue fever and kala azar are resurfacing with renewed vengeance. Gross disparity in health status and availability of health care services exist all over the country.

An acceptable level of health for all people of the world by the year 2000 can be attained through a fuller and better use of the world’s resources, a considerable part of which is now spent on armaments and military conflicts. A genuine policy of independence, peace, détente and disarmament could and should release additional resources that could be devoted to peaceful aims and in particular to the acceleration of social and economic development of which primary health care, as an essential part, should be allotted its proper share.

Important policy about health

The National Health Policy 2002 was formulated with the following objectives to be achieved by the year 2015:

NHP-1983, in a spirit of optimistic empathy for the health needs of the people, particularly the poor and under-privileged, had hoped to provide ‘Health for All by the year 2000 AD’, through the universal provision of comprehensive primary health care services. In retrospect, it is observed that the financial resources and public health administrative capacity which it was possible to marshal, was far short of that necessary to achieve such an ambitious and holistic goal. Against this backdrop, it is felt that it would be appropriate to pitch NHP-2002 at a level consistent with our realistic expectations about financial resources, and about the likely increase in Public Health administrative capacity. The recommendations of NHP-2002 will, therefore, attempt to maximize the broad-based availability of health services to the citizenry of the country on the basis of realistic considerations of capacity. The changed circumstances relating to the health sector of the country since 1983 have generated a situation in which it is now necessary to review the field, and to formulate a new policy framework as the National Health Policy-2002. NHP- 2002 will attempt to set out a new policy framework for the accelerated achievement of Public health goals in the socio-economic circumstances currently prevailing in the country.

It is evident that in spite of the declining mortality and changing morbidity pattern, India still has the “unfinished agenda” of combating the traditional infectious diseases that continue to contribute to a heavy disease burden and take a sizeable toll. Along with these, the country has to deal with the “emerging agenda” which includes chronic and newer diseases induced by the changing age structure, changing lifestyles and environmental pollution. We need to prepare ourselves to face the challenges of widening disparities between sections of the population in terms of access to good health.

The ironical part

The most tragic development is that, such a huge public service broadcasting infrastructure right now is almost redundant and non- functional. “The ministries of the central and state governments engaged in nation building and development tasks seem to create neither any communication apparatus within their own ministries nor do they make demands on the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting (MIB) for information and communication support adequate to the needs of policy formulation or implementation. The MIB is far from playing the role of a true communicating link within the government and between the government and the people in nation-building activities”.

Why should we communicate?

The oxford dictionary defines communication as, the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. Communication is a very important aspect of the human life, since it is the communication that helps human beings to connect with each other as individuals and as independent groups. Communication is the very basis, which drives the process of development in all the fields. It is owing to the process of communication that we are able to send and receive information. Various mass media are an important communication tool for information dissemination.

Effective communication is a prerequisite for implementing organizational strategies as well as for managing day to day activities through people. “Identification is one of the key ingredients of effective communication. In fact, unless your listeners can identify with what you are saying and with the way you are saying it, they are not likely to receive and understand your message.” The quote above is the underlying factor that explains the importance of communication skills.

Communication is easily overlooked, but the ability to communicate effectively is necessary to carry out the thoughts and visions of an organization to the people. The importance of speech and words whether through a paper or a voice is a communication medium to convey directions and provide synchronization. Without communication, there is no way to express thoughts, ideas and feelings.

Importance of communication

The importance of the role of communication for national development was underscored in India even prior to her independence. The Indian National Congress while formulating policies for National Development for Independent India set up a Sub-committee on Communication under the National Planning Committee to offer recommendations for development of communication for independent India. After independence of the country in 1947, the new Indian government announced a development-oriented agenda of governance dedicated to the amelioration of the economic, educational, and health conditions of the people. With the target of Development Communication, the new government adopted the recommendations of the erstwhile National Planning Committee as the mainstay of its communication policies. “The issue of using modern communication acquired high priority as a developmental resource during the Nehru era when the planners explored the prospects of using radio as a development agent, that is, for information and enlightening the people in the countryside and towns on developmental issue”

On a speech delivered on “freedom of information” on March 5, 1962 Pt J L Nehru said “The mass media which are very useful have an element of danger in them in that they may be distorted for private aim. The rich group (inside) or the rich nation (outside) can flood the country and the world through the mass media with its own view of things which may or may not be correct view.” These words had turned out to be ominously true in the present world.

What needs to be done?

The need of the hour is to provide quality health care at all levels by using methods which are feasible, affordable, acceptable and accessible to all. All national programmes need full-hearted support of the community so as to ensure sustainability and success. There is a need for qualified persons with good governing skills at every level, and all activities should be based according to the needs of the community at large.

Most the issues mentioned above can be resolved to a great extend with proper communication system by the main operating body, i.e., government. Advertisements and various other ways used by the government to improve the conditions. But it is also the case that the communication is done with proper care.

This work like other work of the government is not upto the standards where some changes can be expected. The communication done by the government is not so effective. There have been approx 580 reported cases of influenza from May 2011 to August 2011. This shows what the aim that is to be achieved is far ahead. Here arises the need of a proper communication system with the help of which the common people can be made aware of. This communication has to be such effective that it is easily understandable by all. But the reality paints the actual picture. Various practices like corruption, carelessness, red-tapeisum etc among the highest body does not lead to an effective communication practices in the country.

Government communication is nothing but waste of people’s money and mere forced communications. This research will focus on the effectiveness of the communication done by the government.

Things to do before 2012’s sun rises

There are always some things that one wishes to complete, but somehow that work just misses the deadline. And to tell you the truth, once that deadline is not met, that work just stays on its destiny to be completed!

So people, when the thought occurred to me that – “Oh Shit! The year’s ending!!”

I decided that before the sun of 2012 rises, I really need to finish certain works, or say just do what I wanted to do, for so long!

  • Check for pending work– Was there any task that was assigned, which could not be completed, just because of your lack of time or rather lack of interest. If yes, just for the sake of clearing the clutter, finish it off! Simply take it away from eyes. Make space for fresh assignment. Start with your professional work and move to personal work.
  • Tell the truth– Was there something which is now on your heart like a big weight, then please get rid of it! I know I might sound very impractical or more so philosophical. But really, some way or the other, truth always finds its way! It will hurt in the beginning, gradually everything will be fine. A lie can give you happiness, but it will not be forever! Truth can give you peace.
  • Forgive– Its OK to be angry, its human nature! But be sure that your anger does not start effecting your relations. Always remember, “forgiveness is not for others, but for your own self”.
  • Move on– William Shakespeare once said, “Remember the past, only if it gives you pleasure”. Holding on to the past is not a bad thing but at the same time you must not forget that you need to live in present and look to the future. Our present actions, determine our future.
  • Don’t make false promises– With the new year approaching, sometimes we overdo the new year resolutions! Please avoid that, rather stick to the practical part of it. Make new year resolutions, don’t make ways to torture yourself or make yourself feel guilty later (for not sticking, to your resolutions)!
  • Do what you wanted to do– I can understand that there was no time, to do a certain work, but why not  do it now! For eg- I have been avoiding a dentist trip for so long, and now I am going to make that happen! You wanted to go on a trip, plan that, make it happen. Life is too short to regret it! Live the moment!
  • Value your dear ones– you lost contact with your friends, try and contact them! Just remember the good times you spent with them. Value the people in your life. Because for some, you are the reason, they are happy! Make efforts to make them smile. Let them know, you love them!
  • Value yourself– Its high time, take some time out for yourself. Make a trip to the salon, pamper yourself! Do something for that lost inner peace. Stroke that ego of yours, its not bad occasionally ;).
  • Spread happiness– There are many reasons to be unhappy, but there are reasons in abundance to stay happy! It just requires a little effort to stay happy.
  • Be Positive– There is so much negativity around, search for the positive side! Every coin has two sides. Everything happens for good! Look out for the good things in life.

Life is too short live it! Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets.

May you have a wonderful New Year 2012.
Best Wishes from my side.

May you LIVE, all days of your life!

🙂

A place for your soul: Indian Coffee House

Life needs not to be on an accelerator always!

Sometimes living life slowly is good. Its gives you time to think.

In this preoccupied and busy life, I made a stop at Indian Coffee House, second floor, at Baba Kharag Singh Marg, Connaught Place, Delhi.

There is something about this place. Different and very calm air blows here. There is a little easiness and comfort always here.

Lately, I have started coming here very often. The regular people and waiters know me now!

It does not have an extended or fancy menu and the food is not very much to the standards of many fast food chains available. But you can any day – any time stop here for little snacks and coffee.

The best thing here is that you can sit here as long as you wish. No one bothers or disturbs!

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An amazing contrasting view can be witnessed here. Right in front of me is a bid peepal tree. On my left is a combination of some old and new buildings. The cool breeze also brings the honking of car horns below.

Waiters here are very hardworking and generous. They greet you with warmth and right now I can also see one of them offering leftover Biriyani to birds.

On most days you can find monkeys playing on the peepal tree and squirrels running around the open space!

Like I said, there is something about this place which accepts everyone. I can see a group of aged people on a table, laughing and cracking jokes; a group of office goers discussing some project; some young college students probably discussing their ‘fest’.

There may be no fancy menu, decorative table or chairs, but this place is surely a place to be! This is a place for finding some peace for your soul in this busy city!